I dont want to, If you dont want to
by furiousparachute
Summary: The start of a Buffy/Faith romance. Femslash. Sorry not sorry. It's going to be cute and mushy. Faith is coming back into Buffy's life after she wakes up form the coma.
1. Chapter 1

**All I Have To Say Is Goodbye**

**I OWN NO CHARACTERS. BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER WAS WRITTEN BY JOSS WHEDON.**

"I hate her." I mumbled to myself sliding farther into my bubble bath. I had to. What other feelings could I possibly have for Faith? Love? I think not. Not after everything she did. Impossible. But here I am..Absorbed once again in thoughts of Faith. The "what if's". The "maybes". And the "if only". She's done her time. Angel says she's completely rehabilitated. Honestly, I don't know if that's a good thing. I mean, murder and mayhem not so good, but I can't imagine her not being...You know, Faithy.

I was ripped back to reality by a knock at the door. "Buffy?" Dawn called. "You haven't drowned have you?" I can't help but roll my eyes.

"No, Dawn." Unfortunately. "I'll be out soon." I waited until she heard her footsteps fade away to get out of the water. I slipped on my oldest, rattiest t-shirt and face planted on the bed.

IOIOI

*buzz*

Groaning, I tumble to the other side of the bed to my phone. Angel texted.

-She won't shut up about you. –

I catch myself smiling, reply that I will call him after patrol, and got up to change clothes. It's a little weird, talking to Angel. Especially about Faith. He's the only one, besides the ever observant Dawn, I've confided in about my…tendencies. He was surprisingly supportive.

IOIOI

"Did you need something?" I asked Dawn passing her in the hallway.

"Nope, just checking on you, ya know? Making sure you didn't drown thinking about Faith." She smirked, turning to follow me downstairs

"I hate you." I mumbled without looking at her.

"Love you, too, Buff." She laughed. "Call her!" I heard her yell as I shut the door. Call Faith? No. No way. That is ridiculous.

IOIOI

Patrol went as expected. Minor dusting, nothing world endy. Reporting to Giles could wait till morning. It's not like he's a Watcher anymore.

It was late, or early…whatever, when I finally got home. I snuck up to my room. I guess it couldn't hurt to call Faith, leave a voicemail, I thought to myself. Much easier than an actual conversation.

One ring. Deep breaths.

Two rings. Heart racing.

"Hello?" Faith's voice shot through me like a bullet. "Hello?" She repeated mockingly in a sing song voice.

Crap, she answered. Say something! I told myself. "I..B-buffy" Smooth. I felt my face get hot.

"Buffy… I was hoping you would call."

"You were?"

"Of course I was, B." I could almost hear her smile.

Buffy didn't know what to say now. It was all so unreal.

Faith spoke again, "Could I maybe see you?"

"Come over." I couldn't believe I said it. Had I gone crazy? I seriously said come over. I haven't seen Faith in a year, and last time I did, I tried to kill her. AFTER totally ignoring and practically exiling her to the point of her going all dark side. How am I going to face her?

"Okay, then. I will." She laughed. "Wont I wake the kid?"

I didn't even think about Dawn. "Uhh.." I'm obviously eloquent tonight. "It'll be ok. Call when you get here? Yeah. See you soon."

IOIOI

I hung up. I thought I may be sick, so I went into the bathroom. It was when I was splashing cold water on my face when I realized how terrible I looked. My eyes widened. "Oh God." I panicked and tried to get cleaned up. Jeans and a t-shirt? That is seriously the only clean laundry I've got? I looked at my dirty laundry basket. "I'll make time for you one day." I looked myself over one more time. It'll have to do.

*Buzz*

She was calling. I look outside and she's standing in the street looking at my window. "Hey" I answer, just staring at her. It felt like a dream.

"Here." She smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sweeter Than I Deserve To Taste **

"Here" She smiled.

**IOIOI**

I Hung up the phone, and trying to hide my obnoxious smile I crawled out of my window and slide down the drainage pipe. My heart was racing. It was unreal. Every step I took towards her was in slow motion. She looked me directly in the eyes the entire time, when I finally reached her she smiled. "Hey B."

I felt hot tears welling up in my eyes. I didn't say anything; I just wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her into a hug burring my face in her neck. She tensed up at first, and then I felt her muscles relax and she hugged me back with her hand stroking the back of my head. She was comforting me…Faith!

I don't know how long we stood there. All I know was the sun had started to come up. I finally let go of her and looked her in the eyes. She was teary eyed, too. "Let's go inside." She didn't say anything, she just nodded and I took the lead towards my open window.

**IOIOI**

"Whoops" Faith whispered accidentally slamming the window down. We both hesitated, trying to hear if Dawn had woken up… when we hear a faint snore. She giggled and rolled her eyes. Cute.

"So…" I started.

"So…" She said, looking a little nervous. Glad I wasn't the only one.

I plopped down on the bed, and Faith followed, lying beside me. We stared at the ceiling. We talked about LA, and Angel. How close they have become, which actually made me a little jealous. Not because I used to love him…but because her eyes lightened a little when she talked about him. I didn't like that. Hopefully it wasn't noticeable. We also talked about me, and how uneventful my life is, the Scooby Gang, how well they are doing. She told me she's lonely…which made me feel incredibly guilty. I instinctively lay my hand on top of hers. "I'm sorry."

"Hey," She laughed me off, "I must just be emotional, or something. Around the Prince of Broodiness too much." Her walls were up. I understand why. A lace my fingers with hers, but don't say anything. Neither of us do.

**IOIOI**

We must have laid there for over an hour in silence. Then I heard movement in the house. Dawn was up. I sighed deeply. "You ready to say hi to the brat?"

Faith looked confused. She raised her eyebrows, "You want people to know I was here?" Sheesh, more guilty feelings. I forgot how badly I treated her before. She never felt wanted. By me. The group. Anyone.

I rolled over facing her. "Faith…" I whispered.

"Ye-" She didn't get to finish, because I kissed her.. She immediately leaned into me. Everything was on fire and I felt the world slow down around us. It was everything. Everything that amazing felt like. Warmth. Electricity. It was so comfortable. So easy…With one kiss my head was spinning and my heart was pounding. I pulled back. She smiled. "So…you like me, huh?"


End file.
